My British Boyfriend: He’s Off the Market

My British Boyfriend

I’ve been happily dating Christopher since August 2013, and even though we have been physically apart longer than we have been together, I wouldn’t give this up for anything. We met through a mutual friend and since we’ve started talking we have always been very attached to each other. You can call it fate, or destiny, some might even say we were meant to be together, but whatever it is, I like it. There is nothing more special than being in love with someone who means everything to you. No matter the distance between you, there will always be a way to close the gap. We just hope that we all find it soon!

A Little About Me

I didn’t think I would ever end up dating a guy from another state, let alone from another country. I was just a boring girl from Washington state, where it rains all year round! Rain doesn’t bother me though, and I will tell you now that true Washingtonians do not use umbrellas! I was just a single mum to my fur-baby Apple, and a dog trainer who spent a lot of time at work.

I’m your average Pacific-Northwesterner, I like to wear my North Face fleece jacket, black leggings, and my UGG boot Costco knock off’s nine months out of the year because it’s usually raining and a bit chilly. I love the outdoors, especially camping and hiking, getting my chai from the local coffee shop, and hanging out with my friends. I’ve lived here my whole life and never thought more of it.

I'm Chelsea - A NorthWesterner Born and Raised

I’m Chelsea – A Pacific NorthWesterner Born and Raised

My parents have been separated ever since I could remember, but they still got along. When I was in the 4th grade my dad got a new job and moved out of state to Michigan, but that didn’t stop my younger brother and I from seeing him. Every summer we’d stay with him for a few months and he’d come visit us a few times a year during our school breaks. I’ve driven with my Dad and Brother cross-country from Washington state to Michigan, that was really boring!

When I was in the 8th grade I went to California for a school trip, and no we didn’t go to Disney Land. I’ve been to Canada many times, my Mum is Canadian and we have family in British Columbia, so obviously travelling there from my hometown was never a holiday for me. By the time I turned 22 I finally went to Hawaii for the first time! Pretty exciting experience, but to be honest, I thought that was the peak of my travels. I never expected to be one of those girls who get to travel the world. I thought I couldn’t afford it, or would never have the time. Until my friend invited me over to her house in the summer of 2013.

My First Trip to England

That was that summer I met Christopher. My friend kindly invited me to come over and stay over at her house with her and her lovely parents in England. I booked my flight, got my passport, and made the journey over to Plymouth. I didn’t have any doubts in my head going through this process, I was very ecstatic! She mentioned she was going to plan some events with her friends and introduce me to them, but I didn’t think anything of it. I was just so happy to meet her in person finally since we only knew each other through online interactions.

On my way to the airport in Canada I got a notification for several group invites. I went through and was reading the event details, she was introducing me to everyone, and I read the comments everyone left too. Seeing a little bit of their British humour was fun too, very sarcastic people! I glanced at the profiles of the people who were commenting and indicating that they would be joining the event. I’m a human being, my feelings are completely normal and natural. I thought some of the girls were pretty, some of the guys were cute, a few were handsome, but most of the boys looked a little pubescent.

A Photo of Chris I Would Have Seen Before Meeting Him

A Photo of Chris I Saw Before Meeting Him

Christopher was one of the guys who I thought were quite handsome, but I also assumed from looking at his public images that he was a bit of a party boy! Lots of party photos and some sloppy drunken photos too. What I found really interesting when I first met him was that he was so quiet and reserved. He could barely make eye contact with me the first night we were introduced. I was getting along great with everyone, laughing and telling jokes, but he mostly kept to himself.

The Start Of A Romance?

I’m a pretty outgoing person, so as soon as I saw an opportunity to sit next to him to talk more, I went for it. Getting him to have a conversation with me was a bit like pulling teeth, but we did chat a bit. I’ve been told that British people don’t like talking to strangers. I was beginning to feel like this was true in Christopher’s case. He was polite, and I thought his accent was attractive. I was determined at the end of the evening that I would get to know him better before the end of the week.

Through that week we got to know each other better by talking on the internet, and chatting a little here & there while out for group events. His accent sounded so nice, I just wished he spoke more in person! I tried to flirt with him, whether it was through conversation or in my body language by getting close to him without throwing myself at him. Everything I did went unnoticed. As I was around him more I realised he wasn’t quite the “party boy” I assumed he was from his photos. I wasn’t sure if he was into another girl at one point. I thought we both were mutually flirting through instant messaging the night before we all went to the beach.

Despite All My Efforts, Chris Didn't Notice Me Flirting

Despite All My Efforts, Chris Didn’t Notice Me Flirting

But when the day came, he was still that quiet and reserved guy! He stayed on the beach talking to a girl, while I swam with our friend Tim. To make matters worse for me, he didn’t even wear a swim suit! I felt like a moron for thinking I might have stood a chance with him. Clearly he wasn’t interested.

Sitting next to him at the cinema, messaging him during the film we watched with our friends, instant messaging each other through the mornings and evenings when we were both at home was getting me nowhere but frustrated. This handsome guy with a hot accent and dressed really nicely was not into me. I thought I was going crazy. I made up my mind that during our last night out I was going to be blunt and tell him how I felt, because I’ve exhausted any other way I knew how to do it without being direct. I didn’t want to be that “stupid American girl” by making a fool out of myself in public. I feared the rejection, but I also felt I just had to say something.

I tried sitting close to him during pre drinks. I’m not really concentrating on drinking. I’m focused on how to know when would be a good time to tell him about my feelings. He leaves to use the toilet and I save his seat, just being nice because there were lots of people there. When he returns he enters from other end of the room and stands still in the entryway, he looks over at me. I’m feeling proud, I’ve got his seat secured for him, no, secured for us! Being the polite British guy he is, he see’s that I have the chair, and he then sits down on the arm of the couch at that other end of the room. Terrible fail! Now I’m out of options so I wait for my next chance at the bar.

Making My Move

My Final Night With Friends in England

My Final Night With Friends in England

At the bar we are sitting against a long booth seat, and we are separated by a few people. Any time someone who was between us leaned forward to talk to someone across from them or to sip their drinks I would look over to my left and try and make eye contact with Chris. A few times he noticed, and I’d smile at him or raise my brows and go back to drinking. He must of thought my face was having a convulsion in the face or that Americans are crazy, although he did look back at me several times, but he just wasn’t receiving my telepathic messages. Failed myself again, such an idiot.

This time he makes eye contact with me and I tell myself “Do something now Chelsea!” I point over to a empty space right across from us and magically he gets up and walks over there. I did it, I actually accomplished something! As freaked out as I was I remained calm & cool and I walked over to him. Putting my hand on his shoulder, I leaning into him and I told him that I liked him and that I had been trying to get his attention all week. He went wide eyed, I’m surprised he didn’t drop his beer from his hands. I tell him to make an effort to hang out with me that evening and I sat back down, nervously.

He stood there for ages. He even went to the bar with one of his friends and talked! I was mortified. Now everyone was going to find out, and they were going to ridicule me for being a stupid American girl. My family warned me that Americans are not always well liked in the UK, and I was beginning to worry about what kind of rumours would be spreading, until he sat down next to me. Success.

I knew that by sitting next to me it meant that he shared the same feelings for me. He didn’t say it right away but by the middle of the evening at the next bar (when we were actually able to have a genuine conversation) he told me that he liked me too and that he didn’t realise I had been trying to flirt with him all week. Since then our relationship has blossomed into something truly amazing. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. I’ve got a handsome boyfriend with a hot British accent that I’ll never grow tired of hearing. I can see why American girls are so smitten by them. They carry themselves a bit differently than the American guys do, more mature and more sophisticated. They really do know how to dress nicely too!

Chris & I Together At Last

Chris & I Together At Last

I never intentionally went out looking for a British boyfriend, I just happened to find one. I found a guy who puts up with my direct “American” personality and still appreciates me for it. He is the greatest person to have ever come into my life. I love my Brit! To read more about my perspective on British guys, check out this article. Or read this one to find out Chris’ perspective on American girls,

-Chelsea

You Might Also Like
                  

About author View all posts Autor website

Chelsea Martin

Chelsea Martin is a Certified Pet Dog Trainer (CPDT-KA) and a Certified Behavior Adjustment Training Instructor (CBATI). She has been training dogs professionally since 2007, and is the Head Coach for Dogs Trust Dog School Nottinghamshire. She met Chris on a trip to England in 2013, Married him on New Year's Eve - celebrating 2016 as husband and wife!

  • I loved reading your story! It is unbelievable how, although you didn’t have a lot of time to get to know each other you were able to start a relationship and, what is more, a long distance one! I never truly believed that long-distance relationships work, but this blog is making me question my judgement. Loved it!

    • Thank you so much for the sweet compliments :3 I’m a firm believer that “Good things happen to those who wait”. Certainly being in a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) can have it’s difficulties, but I feel that it gives you better chances at succeeding in the long run. Your foundation for your LDR is built upon extreme amounts of trust and patience. For most people in LDR’s it can be 6-8 months before they see their partner again, and even worse for others, who don’t know when they’ll see their partner next. Chris and I try to maintain visiting each other every 2.5-3 months if we can.

      If a person means enough to you, no matter the distance, or the horrific time zones that stands between you, you’ll do anything you can if you believe they’re worth it. For me it was the fact that I knew if I got into another relationship that I was geared towards wanting to settle down. If I didn’t give that guy a fair chance to love me, and me equally love him, I might not ever find it. I was the girl who was scared of being hurt, but took hold of the opportunity when it came and never looked back.

      Chris and I decided to make this blog “official” when we felt that we could advocate to others around the world that LDR’s are not as bad as they’re portrayed in the media. We have lots of friends in the LDR community who are determined to shine a better light on LDR’s as well. If you are strong, and you’re in it for the right reasons, the distance is just a minor hurdle in the way.

      Thank you so much for your support, it means the world to me.

      Only good things,
      Chelsea

  • Wow! Your story is awesome.I super love it. I am so inspired being in a LDR myself.

  • Woganfan

    Great reading your story. My girl is from the USA and I adore her, she lives in the UK though so I am lucky. We really are two people separated by a common language though and that makes our time together even more interesting. Her attitude is probably very similar to yours and I loved how honest and open she was from the begining. I can hosestly say this lady is who I want to spend the rest of my life with. If you two were evm half as happy as me, you will still be some of the happiest people on earth. I sincerely wish you continued joy together and all the best for the future.

    • Hi Woganfan,

      I really appreciate your kind words. You are very lucky to have her with you in the UK! I know many who would be envious – myself included. In the end we all just want to be together with the people that we love the most in this world. Please keep in touch!

  • What a great read! I am so inspired by your story, and I wish you more happiness!
    I am also in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who is currently serving in the Middle East, and it really gets really hard to cope with the distance, especially him being in great risk, but we just have to get through it, and find means to be closer to each other even though we’re miles apart.

    I also began sharing my thoughts and advice on long distance relationships in my blog http://lovefindsways.com

    • Hi Pauline,

      It’s always greet to meet more people who are understanding of our determination to make things work in a long distance relationship – Love is worth it. We’ve been in our long distance relationship for a few years now and are currently preparing to apply for our own UK Visa very soon, as well as planning our wedding! We’ve got one more visit left over Christmas, then after that we’ll finally be closing the distance. We couldn’t be happier.

      Thank you for sharing your blog, we’ll be sure to share it with our friends in the LDR community :D

      Only good things,
      Chelsea

      • Congratulations on your engagement! And that is great news – you guys closing the distance.

        Keep sharing your story with us, and I look forward to reading more of your stories.

        Wishing you all the best,

        Pauline

  • James

    Hi there

    I’m researching visas on behalf of my cousin (Brit) who has a Canadian girlfriend. They’ve lived together in the UK for periods of up to 6 months and have been together for a long time.

    Where I’m coming unstuck is I can’t see a way for them to meet the 2 years cohabitting requirement in the Joining A British Family (Spouse) visa.

    From what I’ve read here you guys made it work after a long distance relationship without the 2 years of living together.

    Can you tell me a bit about that and/or where you read/who you spoke to to find out the particulars of how you can still get the visa without the 2 years of living together.

    Thanks very much and congratulations
    James

    • Chris Martin

      Hi James,

      The 2 year cohabitation rule is specifically for the ‘unmarried partner’ visa (also known as ‘de facto visa’, which gives the applicant the right to remain in the UK for 33 months.

      The route that many choose instead is the fiance & spouse visa route. Neither of these visas include the 2 years cohabitation rule. To apply for the fiance visa, the couple must be engaged and planning a wedding in the UK. The visa lasts for 6 months, during which time the wedding must take place. After the wedding, the applicant can transfer onto the spouse visa – which lasts 33 months and has no cohabitation stipulation.

      Alternatively, if the couple is already married, it is possible to simply apply for the spouse (33 month visa).

      Hope that helps,
      Chris

  • Suraya Hanis

    Hi,i am an asian girl who studied in London. After reading your story,i feel like i should do something about my feeling towards one of my Brits classmate. I fall in love with him after being his classmate for a year. He’s a quiet guy too and i think he always being serious. I managed to get his number few weeks ago but when i texted him, he does not seem to be interest in talking to me. Can you give me some advice? Should i confess to him or just let my feeling fade away. To be honest, i am scared of being rejected and i dont want him to think of me as a stupid girl.

    • Hello Suraya,

      I wouldn’t say you should let your feelings fade away. If you have feelings for the guy, you should pursue him. There is nothing worse than the feeling of regret, then the “what if…” thoughts will plague your mind. Worst case scenario, you admit your feelings to him and he turns you down. You can now grieve and move on. Yes it will hurt for a while, but day by day you’ll think about him less and less, and soon you’ll no longer be left wondering what other possibilities there could have been. I don’t know how much time you truly spent together in a classroom environment, but there is a possibility that he likes you, and doesn’t want to come off the wrong way by being overly friendly with you too much.

      I’d definitely suggest trying to spend more time around him in class, build on your friendship first. Chris was shy around me, but he did engage in conversation and we did chat via IM & text quite easily. This is what lead to my confusion about him and his feelings towards me because I thought I was sending him obvious signs and signals of interest and he didn’t seem to care, when in reality he kept missing them. I felt like I had no other choice but to tell Chris how I felt. I didn’t want to leave the UK with remorse, I wanted to know exactly how he felt about me. So I went for it, and told him how I felt. Even if he turned me down in that moment, I would have appreciated it because I was then free to get over him rather than prolonging feelings for someone who may or may not like me.

      Making yourself vulnerable to someone else is hard, we want to protect ourselves and not allow ourselves to get hurt. If you don’t try, then you’ll never know. Only you are in control of your own destiny. When you are ready, talk to him. Allow yourself to tell him that you like him, and see where it goes from there.

      I’m wishing you the best of luck with everything, please keep in touch :3

      Only good things,
      Chelsea

      • Suraya Hanis

        Hello Chelsea,
        Thanks for your reply :) and i forgot to tell you we did talk a bit in our classroom chat but not so much in class. He just smiled when we run into each other. My friend said i changed him because nowadays he used ‘lol’ and emoticon a lot (i used that a lot). Not sure if its true he changed because of me or not. Anyway, i will try my best to talk and spend my time with him in class like how you suggest :) Again, thanks for your advice, i got no one to really talk about my feelings because this is my first time falling in love with non-asian guy. Wish you happiness with Chris and i will keep in touch with you :D

      • Suraya Hanis

        Hi chelsea,i already confessed to him through whatssap. He read it but he didnt reply anything. Lol im kind of feel like a stupid girl ?

        • Hi Suraya,

          I’m not sure how well you guys know each other outside of school, or how often you chat. I’m not a matchmaker or anything, but I know I personally feel that admitting your feelings to someone is done best in person. Using IM and texting should be a gateway to create conversation, get more familiar with the person until you are at the point that having genuine discussion can take place naturally without the use of phones/tablets/computers.

          It’s possible that he is still contemplating how to respond, or he may not feel as though he knows you well enough yet. There are a lot of reasons why he may not have responded yet, and not all of them are negative. But whatever happens, you will know that you have been honest and given it a fair shot. Even if he does not ever respond, you won’t have to wonder ‘what if’ anymore, and can move on from it.

          Whatever the outcome is, I don’t want you to ever think that you are a stupid girl – you’re not!

          Best wishes,
          Chelsea

  • Hhldr Vomm

    Lol I love the title! Its very catchy! I enjoyed your post :)

    • Thank you very much, it’s an oldie post but a goodie ;3

    • Thank you very much, it’s an oldie post but a goodie ;3

  • Andrew

    Such a love story, thank you for sharing it with the world, and make me believe again that true love exist!