Home: I Will Always Find It In You

Home: With Chris

In a long distance relationship (LDR) it’s crucial to the development and maintenance of your relationship to  visit each other. A LDR will not survive without any physical contact. We are human and at some point, you are going to want to be physically near the person you love and adore. Being able to experience things in life together, in person, is what strengthens the relationship that you have. Skype dates, texting, Instant Messaging, and writing emails or letters is not sufficient enough to satisfy your desire to be physically near your partner. Considering how far away your partner is, it could be very expensive to visit each other, especially multiple times a year. But it can be done with hard work, and frugal spending… Saving every penny you have if that’s what it’s going to take!

If you have never travelled before you may find the journey to be a bit overwhelming, but at the end of your route is your pot of gold, your motivator, your partner. You will spend time together experiencing as much as you can around your partners town. Going to restaurants, walking around the city, exploring what your partner does on a day to day basis. The more you travel and go through the process of visiting each other, you’ll find yourself becoming more familiar with navigating through your partners town, and even create your own memories in places that provide you with a sense of familiarity and comfort. Soon enough, it may start to feel like home, because you recognise it.

How Often Will You Visit Home?

A necklace of my second home

“My heart lies in England” necklace from Etsy

When you’re in a LDR it’s important to decide together, what is the likely amount of times that you can see each other in a year. Will the visits be on a every-other occurrence between homes? How would you feel if your partner travelled over more often to see you, than you could to see them? This shouldn’t be an answer that your friends give to you or your family. This needs to be decided between you and your partner. Chris and I will see each other every 8-12 weeks, and 12 weeks is really pushing it for us. We may not go the “every other” route for visits, but it’s still averages out at the end of the year. If anyone tries to tell you how often you should see your partner, just smile and nod, but deep inside you know that what you and your partner has decided works best for the both of you, because you’ve agreed on it together.

The more I have gone to see Christopher, the more I love being in England. With the travel or separation, you can sometimes feel lost. The one person you love so much is so far away from you. You don’t feel %100 content with where you are geographically, but you still don’t feel like you’re completely at home yet when you’re over with you partner yet either. The more time you spend with your partner the more you’ll develop a sense of comfort where they live. Soon the last of your worries will be how far away you are from your home. In all honesty, when you enter into a LDR, their home becomes your second home whether you wanted it to be or not. When Chris and I talk about our future together, life after marriage, he has mentioned that he got a little excited thinking about how America will be considered part of his home too, and how it will be more significant in his life then.  We plan to live in England, but we will visit my family and friends in America whenever we can.

The ‘I’m Home’ Feeling

Chris an I together.

Chris and I together.

I am still developing more of a “I’m home!” feeling when I come and visit Chris in England. Looking around the city and watching the people thinking, so this will be my new home? And every time I go over there, it becomes a more vivid image in my mind that this is my home too. If we couldn’t find a way to live together in England, we would try for America next. Each time we see each other, we get closer to our final destination, and we’ll never have to separate again. It wouldn’t matter to me so much on the location of where our future home will be… as long as I’m with Chris, we can live anywhere in the world, because my heart lies with him.

-Chelsea

         

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Chelsea Martin

Chelsea Martin is a Certified Pet Dog Trainer (CPDT-KA) and a Certified Behaviour Adjustment Training Instructor (CBATI). She has been training dogs professionally since 2007, and is the Head Coach for Dogs Trust Dog School Nottinghamshire. She met Chris on a trip to England in 2013, Married him on New Year's Eve - celebrating 2016 as husband and wife!