Feelings: And Why It Is Important To Talk About Them

Couple Talking About Feelings

This is probably good advice for any relationship, not just long distance ones. However, talking about your emotions and feelings in a long distance relationship is even more important. This is because when you are not together in person (which for most LDR couples will be the majority of the year) it can be much harder to determine how your partner is feeling. When we are together, it is easy to pick up on the slight nuances and changes in behaviour that let us know how our partner is feeling. But unfortunately, we do not have this luxury in long distance relationships.

When we communicate via internet messaging apps (Couple) or video chat (Skype), it can be very easy to hide how we are feeling. Whether it is just down after a long day of work, or aggravated by something that has happened throughout the day, or even (on the flipside of that) happy or excited. After a while, you may be able to start picking up on how your partner is feeling from their mannerisms. For example, I know when Chelsea is having her bad day, her messages become shorter and to the point.

We Are Not Always Able to Talk in Person

We are not always able to talk in person.

Of course, there may be a number of reasons that you do not want to share your feelings with your partner. They range from: not wanting to bring their mood down, thinking you can handle it yourself, not thinking it is an appropriate moment to do so, and more. While there may be some truth to some of these (it may not be the best idea to explain to your partner if they are pressed for time or unavailable to talk), for the most part, it is always better to talk openly and honestly about how you feel.

The Benefits of Talking About Feelings?

First and foremost, the most obvious benefit to talking about your feelings is the fact you will be getting it off of your chest. There is truth to the idea that simply talking about something can make you feel better about it. Once it is in the open, and you are able to talk about it, it will feel like a weight off of your shoulders. Of course, depending on what the issue is, this may not be an instant relief. If you are talking about your relationship for example, then be prepared to be completely open and not necessarily get the response you were hoping for.

Another benefit of talking about your feelings is that it helps you and your partner feel closer to each other. Nothing makes the distance worse than feeling emotionally detached from your partner. Not knowing what they are thinking or feeling can be an extra blow after not being able to feel physically connected to them either. Letting them know how you feel will bring you closer together emotionally, and allow you to briefly forget about the distance between you.

Sometimes we all feel down.

Sometimes we all feel down.

And, the most important benefit is, of course, that your partner is your biggest supporter. They are the person will always be there for you, no matter how you are feeling. You should never feel ashamed, or bad about telling your partner about your feelings. They will support you with everything you are going through, just as you would do for them. They will be able to help you with what you are dealing with, whether it is talking you round, or just taking your mind off of it for a moment.

How To Talk About Feelings

This is a relatively straight forward topic, however, it also depends on your relationship with your partner. The mot important piece of advice is to always be respectful of your partner. If they are having a rough day too, then take note of that, and don’t lament to your hearts content to them. Discuss both of your days and support each other in the way that you would want them to support you. And if your partner comes to you with something they want to talk about, let them.

Be honest, even if you are only texting.

Be honest, even if you are only texting.

And of course, if your partner asks how you are, be honest with them. ‘I’m fine’ will just come to mean ‘I’m fine’ rather than an umbrella term for, ‘I’m not great but don’t really want to talk about it.’ If you don’t want to talk about how you’re feeling in that moment, then that is fine, but  let your partner know that. Honesty is the best policy at all times. And so long as you live by that, you will not only feel closer to your partner, but also much happier and supported in your own life.

– Chris


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Chris Martin

FlexMR Chief Marketing Officer. Adviser to Series A Tech Firms, Avid Technophile, Part Time Consultant & Full Time Husband of Chelsea Martin.