Cancelled date: How should you deal with it?

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If you’re dating long distance, then you’ll be all too familiar with Skype dates, or Google Hangouts. Unfortunately we do not have the luxury of driving 15-30 minutes to our partners house, and taking them out on a hot date. Chris talks about the art of the Skype date here, so you can keep your dates from feeling repetitive. Sometimes life likes to throw us a curveball. Whether it’s work, family, or friends, there will come a time where you have to cancel a Skype date. Here are some ways to deal with cancelled dates.

Talk yourself through your emotions

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First and foremost, don’t let your emotions override your common sense. Understand that your partner didn’t cancel your date to be malicious. Hear them out. Is it an emergency? Is it something that could negatively effect them if they miss out on this opportunity to go right now? Do not take it offensively. Take a deep breath, inhale and exhale out. Yes it’s frustrating, but arguing about it won’t make a difference.

Reschedule as soon as possible

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The worst thing you can do when you cancel a date, is not set yourself up with the next one. Understandably if it’s an emergency you may not have the time in that moment, but once things have settled down you can rearrange a date. You want to end with a positive, because I’m sure you were really looking forward to seeing them! Having a new date arranged will help you have something to look forward too again.

Plan out your dates well in advance

Give yourself plenty of time to ensure you don’t have forgotten plans occurring, and to be able to communicate to your friends (especially the ones who like to come over unannounced) that you’re busy. Put it on your desk calendar, your planner, your cell phone, etc. Mark it everywhere you can. Christopher and I share a google calendar so we can see the date, and make sure we plan everything occurring in our lives around our date, and to better predict when our next date will be most feasible for us both within our availability.

Find your happy place

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When your date has been cancelled, the last thing you want to do is focus around the fact that you’re not participating in your date together. By doing this you’re only going to work yourself up more. Read all of your letters and emails that your partner has written to you. Reading those will out weigh the negative thoughts you may have lingering around, and remind you how happy they make you feel. Look through your photos and reminisce at the things you have done together. Think of your new upcoming date, and plan for topics you want to discuss, like your goals you want to set for your future!

Keep yourself busy

When a date has been cancelled, time can really drag by. Keeping  yourself busy will preoccupy your mind so you’re not so focused on what you could have been doing. Go for a walk and clear your mind, Call a friend and talk to them about how their day is going, watch a movie and let someone else’s drama be your concern for 90 minutes or more. I find when I’ve been in this situation, is when I get the most projects done around my house!

No situation is ever perfect. At some point, somebody is going to have to cancel a date for one reason or another, it’s unavoidable. How we manage it and recover from it is what makes for our successes and failures within our relationship. By walking yourself through those steps you’ll be able to break yourself from experiencing the post cancelled date depression, and turning it into an outlet for other positive activities. Just remember cancelled dates are only temporary!

-Chelsea

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Chelsea Martin

Chelsea Martin is a Certified Pet Dog Trainer (CPDT-KA) and a Certified Behaviour Adjustment Training Instructor (CBATI). She has been training dogs professionally since 2007, and is the Head Coach for Dogs Trust Dog School Nottinghamshire. She met Chris on a trip to England in 2013, Married him on New Year's Eve - celebrating 2016 as husband and wife!